You never loved me. For you have never known me. I have been there your whole life. You have never known me, or chosen to see me.

You loved the beautiful lies other people told about me. You loved the person I was happy to let others believe me to be. The person who people believed they knew because of what they saw, but they never really wanted to see behind the tapestry they wove for me. They never really wanted to know anything at all. They were happy to keep telling the beautiful lie. To not have to help or see the hurt – just the beautiful lie.

You promised you were strong enough, your promised you would not flinch, you promised you would not go away. Each and every time you peeked behind the beautiful lie you could not stand what you saw. You ran for your bathroom, you ran for your liquor each time you saw behind the curtain.

You could not reconcile my small life, my stone heart, with the beautiful lie. You thought I was more than I am. In your “superior wisdom” you fixed things that were meant to stay broken, and broke things that had always stayed whole. Then you ran away because the beautiful lie hid an ugly truth.

I let you soften a piece of my stone cold heart, only to rip it off and take it with you. You have shredded the tapestry of the beautiful lie that wrapped me securely and safely away from the pain. Your parting words were “I hope you die”. Assuredly that will come true – with abundant speed, and now agonizing pain.

You have danced upon the shattered crystal of my broken life and ground it to sand being washed away by the days, the hours and the minutes I have left. There are not enough minutes in infinitely to be able to reconstruct even a small piece of what was at least a contented life.

Thread by thread you have unwoven my cover, brick by brick you have taken what I have built. I should have known better that to come back. I should have stayed behind the tapestry of the beautiful lie. For now I lay upon the stage that is mine, naked, alone, and crushed.