Its been a minute since I have posted anything on this site. This site was going to be a victory page. A story about chasing crazy and winning. Its funny how we believe in our soul we can win every battle if we give it all we have. Its not true. Entering some battles is like saving someone from drowning. They will drown you before you can save them. This is that story.

There will be no Dicksons happy ending or moral victory. It is messy and ugly painful and traumatic. My every weakness and demon exploited and manipulated. My every resource squandered – and yet I believed. The only thing I have left are a tattered relationship with my husband and children. Some really good friends who are i”m sure most would consider “unsavory”. A crazy as a loon bestie. A mountain of debt, a reputation ruined, some new experiences, and truck loads of trauma.

I am not sure how often I will be able to post. The wounds are still open, the hurt and the trauma still very fresh. I am no hero in this story. My only hope for any kind of redemption is someone reads these posts and avoids my mistakes.

As you read this remember what I ignored: “The blood of the Covenant is stronger that the water of the womb.” This is my story – When my judgement comes =May God have mercy on my soul.